- A 6-month-old infant can distinguish skin color, hair texture and facial features.
- By age 3, children show definite preferences for people who look like them.
- By 4 or 5, children assign social characteristics based on skin color – in other words, stereotyping has begun.
Many parents recognize that diversity is increasingly becoming an unavoidable fact of life. In response, preparing your children to effectively navigate cultural diversity so that they can have a more enriched life, becomes a worthwhile goal, but it is one accompanied by significant obstacles and challenges. Given that stereotypes are learned at such a young age, parents must begin the work of dismantling negative associations with difference early on.
Below, I've compiled a list of best practice tips - suggestions experts have made to support raising a "tolerant" child, one who can effectively navigate and make the most of cultural diversity.- Make sure you're a good role model - Who are your friends? Who do you invite over to the house? If there's not a lot of diversity in your life, your children will pick up on that.
- Examine your own biases. How do you react when someone from another culture is around or approaches you? Children have the ability to pick up on the slightest amount of anxiety. If your behavior changes, they will pick up on that.
- Watch what you say. If you make fun of those who are different, guess what? So will little Junior.
- Start the dialogue early! Don't wait until a "situation" occurs (e.g. your child is made fun of, or makes fun of someone else). Remember how young children learn stereotypes! Make sure you begin dialogue about difference early on. Communicate the message that different isn't automatically a bad thing.
- Keep your eyes open. Who does your child play with? Do they exclude other children? children who are different? Encourage them to develop friendships early on with children who are different (e.g. different gender, cultural background, age, etc.) Engage them in dialogue and help them determine what's fun or good about playing with someone who's different from them in some way.
- Examine your surroundings. What are the messages in your neighborhood or community? Do the only people who are different own the neighborhood store, teach your children, clean your house, or live somewhere across the railroad tracks? Exposing your child to different cultures and lifestyles early on, enables them to learn about difference and sets the expectation that not everyone is the same.
- Explore and discuss differences within the family - highlight ways that you differ amongst yourselves and help them to make the connection that different is not always a bad thing.
- Read books that depict diversity and educate your children about other cultures. Links provided on this page can help you get started in identifying age appropriate resources.
- Listen for signs of intolerance - others may make jokes or say hurtful things about other groups to be funny and your child may not understand the difference. Figure out how to respond to others who say intolerant things, and listen for your child's imitation of those messages.
- Screen programs, books, magazines, music and the internet - many of the messages children pick up about difference come from sitcoms that stereotype, intolerant musical lyrics, hate messages on the internet, and biased media. Pay attention to what your child has access to.
How to Raise Tolerant Children
Best PracticeTips from the Experts
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